Scenes from Chino
by Brandywine421
Summary: To kill time during the dwindling hiatus, I’m going to start posting one scene per day. Scenes from the hiatus. Some will be angsty, some will be fluffy, etc.
1. 1

Scenes from Chino

Disclaimer: I don't own anything OC related.

AN: To kill time during the dwindling hiatus, I'm going to start posting one scene per day. Scenes from the hiatus. Some will be angsty, some will be fluffy, etc. Enjoy.

* * *

"No way."

"Please, Ryan…You have to, before my mom gets home…"

"Absolutely not."

"But…"

"There is no way in hell I'm doing that…"

"But, you said you'd do anything for me…just last night you told me that…"

"I won't do that."

The cat yowled again from his perch on the roof.

"I'd go after it if I could…"

"You can't climb up there in your condition…"

"Ryan, it's my mother's kitty…"

"It got up there, it can get down the same way."

"You can't just leave it there…"

"I don't care, Teresa, that cat hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, he just…doesn't like people…"

"I am not going up there, Teresa. Under no circumstances will I get up there…"

Five minutes later, Ryan was halfway up the ladder, muttering under his breath as Teresa held the ladder steady. Every time they'd tried to put the ladder close to the cat's position, the cat would dart to the opposite side of the house.

"Don't be such a whiner, Ryan, it's only a few feet off the ground…"

"Easy for you to say, you're down there…" Ryan grumbled as he kept his eyes glued to the rung he was reaching for.

Teresa laughed and he started to glare at her, but saw how high he was and immediately lost his breath.

The cat yowled again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming…" He crawled onto the slanted roof on his knees. The cat was at the edge of the roof and true to form, hissed at him as he started to inch his way towards it.

"Ryan? Can you get it?" Teresa called.

"Here, kitty, kitty…" Ryan whispered. The cat hissed.

He finally made it to the opposite edge of the house. The cat was watching him warily from the edge.

"Come on, kitty," He cooed, trying to coax the cat to come to him.

The cat meowed and swatted at his hand, scratching him.

"Fuck…"

"Ryan?"

"Damned cat…" Ryan muttered. He wasn't concerned about the height anymore, he just wanted to catch the damned cat.

"Ryan, do you have him?"

"No." Ryan inched closer to the cat. He hissed again and Ryan hissed back. The cat flattened his ears and started to spit at him.

Ryan grabbed the cat with both hands. The cat clawed at his chest through his wife beater and lunged out of his arms with a harsh meow and scurried to the opposite side of the roof.

"What was that? Did you get him?" Teresa called.

"Stop asking me," Ryan said, losing patience by the second as he started to crawl back across the slanted roof.

"What's going on? The cat's over here…"

Ryan picked up a Frisbee that was in his path and tossed it into the backyard.

"Hey, I lost that years ago," Teresa said from below.

"Glad to help," Ryan muttered. He'd reached the cat again.

The cat hissed at him and leapt off the roof, yowling all the way until he landed on his feet in the backyard.

"Damn, Ryan, you weren't supposed to throw him off!"

Ryan sighed. "Can you just hold the ladder, Teresa?"


	2. 2

_AN: Okay, so these scenes are not chronological, they take place at different times over the summer. This scene is for Joey._

* * *

Teresa was cooking dinner despite her swollen feet. It was the least she could do since she couldn't work anymore. Being pregnant sucked more that she imagined.

She'd heard Ryan park the car in the driveway but he hadn't come in yet. She left the fajitas to cook and peeked out the window. He'd started bringing home scraps from his work site a few weeks earlier and today she saw her convertible loaded up with 2 by 4's and plywood.

She let out a sigh. The baby wasn't even borne yet, but he seemed hell bent on having a swingset built before she came to term. She returned to the stove and flipped the fajitas. Her mother would be home soon and she knew that he'd want to be inside and cleaned up before she got here.

Finally, Ryan stepped in, drenched with sweat. He seemed so tired lately, he worked long hours at the construction site, taking any overtime he could get and whenever he was home he'd spend it working on the swing. There were sketches of his plan scattered all over the house.

"Hey," He said, kissing her on the cheek.

"You're all sweaty," She murmured, turning her face to meet his lips. She kissed him and tasted cigarettes on his breath again.

"Yep. Sorry, I'll get changed…"

"Ryan, about the swing…" She started, needing to get her thoughts off her chest. She didn't want to keep all her issues inside, she wanted to set a better example for Ryan.

"Are we going through this again?" He asked, lowering his gaze with a sigh.

"The baby's not going to be able to use it for years…"

"Once the baby comes, I'm not going to have time to build it…"

"I think you're just avoiding me," She said to his back as he went toward his bedroom.

"What?" He met her gaze, pivoting around.

"You heard me. You're so unhappy here that you'll use any excuse to avoid spending time with me," She stated seriously. She hated to antagonize him into a conversation, but he hadn't grown more talkative after his hiatus from Chino. He was still quiet and brooding, just like before and she had to goad him into communicating back then, too.

"Teresa. I want this kid to have all the stuff we never had…" Ryan started slowly.

Teresa realized her mistake. He was telling her the truth. He wanted to make a home for this child, he really did and he wanted it to have all the things he never had. Like a swingset.

"I just thought that it would be nice for him to have somewhere to play…" Ryan continued as Teresa tried to find the words to apologize.

"I…"

"The parts are free, the labor's free, and until the baby's old enough, the neighbor kids can use it…I just don't understand why it bothers you so much…" Ryan admitted.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking, Ryan, it's a great idea."

His blue eyes showed her that he didn't believe her. He looked at her with a confused expression on his face but his eyes told her that he was hurt.

"I mean…" She started.

"You know what? I need to go get changed. I'll stop working on the swing, okay? I'll collect the parts, I'll put them somewhere and when you think the baby's old enough, we'll talk about it again. I'm going to go get into the shower." He disappeared before she could stop him.

The baby was fucking up her moods. She should have known that Ryan wasn't avoiding her, he'd given up a posh life in Newport to come be with her and she'd basically accused him of not caring. When he really did care. He cared more than he should.

She finished up the fajitas and covered them. She went down the hall to the bathroom and tried the door. It was locked. She stood on her tiptoes and found the key, unlocking it quietly. She closed the door behind her.

The bathroom was steamy and she knew that Ryan was trying to work the pain out of his aching back. Sometimes he'd let her massage his sore shoulders but lately, he'd been rubbing her feet instead. 

She was taking him for granted already. She couldn't do that. She had to make him happy. She stepped out of her clothes and pulled the shower curtain back.

"Teresa, what the hell…"

"I'm sorry, Ryan." She stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain closed.


	3. 3

"What the heck is that racket?" Teresa's mother called through the door.

"Oops," Summer told Teresa, turning down the stereo.

"Sorry, Ma!" Teresa yelled back. She returned her attention to Summer. "Are you sure Ryan likes this stuff?"

"Rage Against the Machine? Yeah, of course he does. Why, you don't like it?"

Teresa wrinkled her forehead. "I don't know. I can't really understand the words…"

"Listen," Summer turned up the stereo again. "He says, 'rally around the family with a pocket full of shells'…"

"Are you _sure_ Ryan listens to this? He isn't really a big fan of guns."

Summer hesitated, her upbeat smile faltering for the first time since she'd shown up on the front porch a few hours ago. "Honestly? I don't think Chino listens to music."

Teresa laughed. "That's right. That's the Ryan I know."

"I was just in the record store and I saw this. I remember…Seth made us listen to the whole album, he was trying to headbang with that curly afro of his…and Chino just kept making fun of him…"

"Summer, he's going to be happy to see you."

"Chino…we weren't close. But now that Cohen's gone, I'm trying to move on with my life. I gave up a lot of my friends for Cohen and now…I'm sort of alone. But Chino was always alone, he has his head on straight and all…I just wanted to see him. To see how well…he's moving on."

Teresa nodded. "You don't have to explain yourself to me."

Summer's smile was completely gone now.

"But Ryan's not really moving forward, he's sort of moving backwards," Teresa said quietly. "I know it was asking a lot of him to come back here…everyone in Newport probably hates me…"

"No, Teresa…"

"But I think we have a lot in common. See, Ryan and I…we used to be like you and Seth. I was always crushing on him, basically obsessed with him. He'd come over with his brother and hang out with my brother. He was always so cool, so collected. So gorgeous, even when he was younger," Teresa explained. "But he never gave me the time of day. And it hurt. A lot. Then I saw that he wouldn't really give anyone the time of day. His life…his life sucked, Summer, but he never let anyone see it."

"So…you were Seth and I'm Chino?" Summer smiled. Tears were streaming down her face now that she'd dropped the upbeat façade.

"Sort of. But then we hooked up. We started out, just…friends with benefits. He was sleeping around, I was sleeping around, but we always seemed to come back to each other. Then one day, we had this huge fight. I told him to get out, that I never wanted to see him again. And he left. He really left."

"That's when he came to Newport?"

"Yeah. I lost him, Summer. I thought I'd never see him again…but he turned up on my doorstep for Thanksgiving…and it was like nothing had changed. Sure, he was with Marissa, but I could see in his eyes that he still loved me."

"You love him?"

"Yeah. I do."

"I love Seth…"

"He'll come back to you, Summer."

"I can't wait for him…it's been months and nothing…" Summer sniffled.

"Summer. If he loves you, he'll come back. Sometimes…sometimes they just need a little time to figure out what they really want," Teresa said.

"So…Ryan wants you?" Summer asked, wiping her eyes.

Teresa blushed. "I…I hope so. I didn't give him much choice…I just hope I can make him as happy as the Cohens made him…"

"So, you don't feel guilty about making him come back here?"

Teresa didn't meet her gaze.

"Sorry."

"I can't do this by myself. Have a kid. With Ryan…I know I can do anything. I needed him…"

"We need him, too," Summer said quietly.

The music intensified again. Summer began nodding her head violently and Teresa joined her. When the door swung open, Ryan was staring at them with a totally confused expression on his face.

"Hey, Ryan," Summer laughed, seeing his expression.

"Hey. Is Seth…"

"No. Just me," Summer replied. He walked over and embraced her gently.

"It's good to see you, Summer."


	4. 4

_AN: Almost forgot to post today, glad people are reading. _

* * *

Ryan had been with us only three days when the phone rang. It'd been days since the house phone had rang. Teresa had a prepaid cell phone that took all her calls and I rarely got calls unless they were from family.

I wish that Teresa had been more responsible, but she'd always been crazy over Ryan. I had to admit that I liked him more than I ever liked Eddie. I knew Ryan would take care of her. He'd come all the way from his rich new life for her. He was a good boy.

I tried to raise my kids in a way my mother would have been proud of, but we still couldn't shake what poverty and our men's history of criminality had given to us. Two boys in jail and Teresa pregnant at seventeen.

I couldn't put her out, not like my mother put me out. She'll go to church every Sunday from now on, and she won't be sharing a bed with Ryan, but I wouldn't put either of them out.

Ryan already had gotten a job that he would start the next week. He had done more for our house in three days than anyone else, even my own kids. He fixed the front door the first night, it'd been squeaking for years. The next day, our gate latched again. Eddie had never done things like that. It was nice to have a man around the house again.

I liked Ryan. I respected him for what he was giving up for Teresa. But it was half his fault, too. His or Eddie's, I didn't know for sure. Teresa wouldn't tell me, I didn't know if she even knew who the father was. She just knew who her heart belonged to. Ryan Atwood.

I answered the phone. "Hola?"

"Um…Can I speak to Ryan?" It was a man, an older man by the sound of it.

"Of course." I walked away from the stove for a moment and held the phone out to him.

He was setting the table while Teresa and I cooked. I watched him put the silverware down and pick up the phone. 

"Hello?"

He didn't speak again but I saw something die in his eyes. His face lost all its color and he turned away from me. I nudged Teresa as I moved back to the stove. She gave me a look and I nodded toward Ryan.

Ryan was clenching a fork and spoon in his hand and his knuckles were white. He said something I couldn't hear and I thought that he was shaking. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Okay. Bye." He hung up the phone and set it on the table quietly. He was the quietest person I'd ever known, he barely made a sound even when he spoke. But even I could tell something was wrong.

"Ryan?" Teresa called. Ryan didn't answer her. He finished setting the table and turned and walked out of the house, closing the door behind him.

The phone rang again. I answered it as Teresa went after him.

"Hola?"

"Yes, this is Sandy Cohen, I was just talking to Ryan…is he still there?"

"He just stepped out, is everything okay?" I had to ask.

"Well, I didn't mean to upset him but…are you sure he's not there?"

Teresa walked in without Ryan and made a motion to her mouth to tell me that he was smoking. She was worried, too, and it was clear she hadn't made any progress with him.

"He's outside. Hold on…" I lowered the phone. "It's Mr. Cohen."

Teresa took the phone from me and walked outside. I heard her talking softly to Ryan but she came back with the phone to her ear instead.

"He's gone? Oh no, Mr. Cohen…okay…okay…are you sure that you don't think…okay. I'll tell him to call you. I promise. Take care." She lowered the phone.

"What is it?"

"It's Seth. Mr. and Mrs. Cohen's son…Ryan's best friend… I know that Seth was pretty mad at Ryan for leaving…but he ran away. Mr. Cohen just wanted to know if Ryan had heard from him…"

"Oh no…"

"I'm going to…"

"Go ahead, Teresa. I'll finish dinner."

She gave me a relieved look and walked out again. I guess Ryan had more of an effect on Newport than he thought. Something was special about that boy. He changed people. I knew my Teresa would never get over him.

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	5. 5

_AN: This chapter is dedicated to **smc36**. Sorry I haven't killed her for you yet but I hope this chapter helps you out with your rage._

* * *

Kirsten knocked tentatively on the door. "Sandy, are you sure…" Her eyes searched her husband's face. 

"Hey, guys. It's good to see you," Teresa said, welcoming them inside as she swung open the door.

"How are you? You look well," Sandy gave her a gentle hug.

Kirsten was still hesitant. She stepped inside the house. She wasn't sure what to expect, but the clean, vibrantly painted living room wasn't it. Pictures of Teresa and her family were all over the walls and she glimpsed several with Ryan's familiar blond figure in them. She felt a pang when she pictured her own living room with the antique paintings and latest floral arrangements. Family photos were reserved for the nightstands and the mantle alone. This living room was an archive of family.

"Kirsten?" Teresa called. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just admiring the pictures," Kirsten replied. "I had no idea you had such a large family." With a big family, she had to have other people that could help her raise this child. She didn't need Ryan.

"Ryan's out back," Teresa said, blushing a little from Kirsten's gaze.

"Be nice," Sandy whispered in her ear as they followed her outside. He put his hand on her back and she forced herself to relax.

It wasn't like she didn't like Teresa, she did. She just didn't like Ryan here. If Teresa was willing to stay in Newport, Kirsten would undoubtedly be close with her, but since she'd taken Ryan away from them and was keeping him in Chino, Kirsten didn't want anything to do with her. She wanted Ryan to come home. If Ryan came home, Seth would come home. She wanted her family back.

Ryan looked blonder when she saw him at first. His hair was longer and he was dark with tan. He was wearing his trademark wife-beater and was standing with his back to them in front of a small grill.

She felt a chill rush through her. It'd only been a few weeks since she'd seen him in person, she wouldn't cry.

"Ryan? Sandy and Kirsten are here," Teresa said. She walked over and put her hand on Ryan's shoulders.

Kirsten tensed up immediately. She didn't like the way Teresa touched him. Like he belonged to her. Ryan didn't belong to her.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" Ryan turned and smiled at them, his blue eyes sparkling. He looked genuinely glad to see them.

She felt a little better when she saw the dark circles under Ryan's eyes. He was tired. He was happy to see them. He wasn't settling in here despite the way Teresa had her hands on him.

He put his arms around her for a hug. She held him tightly against her. She missed him. She missed his sparse comments and eagerness to help. She missed his breakfasts. She missed his bleary-eyed trek to the coffeepot. She missed the way he smiled and flashed a few of his perfect teeth.

The boy she knew never hugged. Teresa was changing him. All Kirsten needed was a few minutes to talk to him and she was sure that she could get him to reconsider.

He released her and slapped Sandy on the back. Their hug was more relaxed. She knew that Sandy and Ryan had a special connection. They talked almost every day. Sandy wasn't going to force Ryan to come home, he was too emotionally invested in the situation. He felt pity for Teresa.

She didn't anymore. She had to protect what was hers.

"I'm making cheeseburgers, I hope that's okay," Ryan said. Kirsten watched as his hand found Teresa's and they walked together back toward the grill.

"Sounds delicious," Sandy grinned. "Thanks for having us."

"You guys are always welcome. My mom wanted to meet you but she had to go help out at the church," Teresa said.

"So how is everything?" Kirsten asked. She had barely spoken since she got here.

"Good, it's good," Ryan replied. "Has there been any news on…"

"No. Nothing yet," Sandy said before he could finish his question. Kirsten took her husband's hand. He couldn't talk about Seth's disappearance. Not even with Ryan.

"Oh. Teresa, could you go get the cheese for the burgers out of the kitchen?" Ryan asked.

"Sure." She kissed Ryan on the cheek and went into the house.

"You guys are certainly domestic," Kirsten said once she was gone.

Ryan didn't seem to sense the tension in her words. "Yeah, well, before you guys came along, Teresa was like family to me, too." He glanced at them. "Trey and I spent a lot of time here."

"Ryan, do you love her?"

He glanced from her to Sandy. "What kind of question is that, Kirsten?"

"It's a valid question."

Ryan didn't reply immediately. He flipped a burger before regarding her. "You think I'd be here if I didn't Kirsten? You really think I'd walk away from Newport if I didn't care about her? How can you even ask me that?" He shook his head and returned his attention to the grill.

"Kirsten," Sandy scolded her with his hushed tone.

Teresa returned with the cheese and walked over to stand beside Ryan. Kirsten watched them with interest. Ryan would flip a patty and Teresa would gingerly lay a slice of cheese on it. They worked together fluidly.

"I'm sorry, Ryan."

Teresa looked at her and put a hand on Ryan's back. "You okay?" She asked him.

Kirsten didn't want to watch them anymore. She didn't want to watch that girl comfort Ryan. It wasn't right. She sat down at the picnic table.


	6. 6

_AN: Well, I don't have internet access on the weekends, so here's tomorrow's scene. Sunday's scene will be appearing on Monday. This is for alopecia. Probably not what you wanted, but it's all I could get done._

* * *

Ryan was grateful when the foreman honked the horn on his truck to signal that it was time for lunch. He pulled off his hard hat and ran a grimy hand through his sweat-plastered hair.

"Hey, kid, the boss wants to see you," one of the men said.

He felt a pang of worry but didn't let it show. He grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler and made his way through the cluster of men toward the truck where the foreman was sitting on the bumper.

"Hey, Atwood," The man greeted him with a tired nod.

All the men were tired. They were behind schedule on this project and despite their long hours and overtime, they weren't making much progress.

"Hey. Larry said you wanted to see me?" Ryan asked, gulping from the water.

"Yeah, yeah. We're going to pull some extra shifts this weekend. We were only planning on having the masons come in, but you're a hard worker and I think you would actually get some work done and not just run up overtime hours."

Ryan was startled. He glanced behind him at his laughing coworkers. "Yeah, I could really use the money."

The man patted him on the back and dust flew off both of them. "You're a good kid. A hard worker. I'm going to let you oversee things this weekend, the wife is making me drive her up to the hills so we can 'talk'."

"That doesn't sound too good," Ryan said sympathetically.

"Believe me, it's not. Anyway, the boys respect you, they know you know what you're doing and if they give you any shit, let me know, okay?"

"Sure."

"It'll only be a few guys. I'm hoping you can finish the first floor and start on the second so we can get the electricians in next week."

"I'll give it a shot, man," Ryan nodded.

"Good. Now go get some lunch, you're making us all look bad," The man said, rubbing his massive potbelly.

Ryan laughed and walked over to sit with his coworkers. Kip had saved him a seat on an overturned barrel and he sat down, finishing the bottle of water.

The work was hard but the men made it tolerable. Jerry was the resident practical joker. He was known for spiking the kool-aid with vodka and switching peoples lunches at every opportunity. The boss was easily amused, but the day they came in and found that all the hammers on site had been hidden, he'd been so wracked with laughter that he couldn't even reprimand him convincingly.

Ryan was closest with the oldest man on the job, though. Kip was a family man, he had four kids, two in high school and two in diapers thanks to his third wife. He was quiet, too, but he was tough. Kip didn't treat him like a kid, like the other guys, he treated him like an equal. Actually, most of the men did, but they'd scold him for smoking and tease him about his fear of heights whereas Kip had defended him a few times from the verbal barbs about his age and what they called his 'baby face'.

"What was that all about?" Kip asked in his gravelly growl.

"He wants me to keep an eye on things this weekend," Ryan replied. "He's letting me work."

"Most people say he's _making_ them work. You act like it's a blessing or something," Jerry laughed.

"I need the money, man. Until I find a second job…" Ryan muttered.

"You're going to get a second job? Where, kid? You spend almost 10 hours a day here, you don't have time for a second job. I thought you were going back to school?" Kip asked suddenly.

"I don't…" Ryan started.

"Look, I know things are tough for you right now, but everyone here knows that you're too fucking smart to drop out of school. You're seventeen and you could run this place yourself…" Jerry echoed.

Ryan stared at him.

"Atwood, don't end up like us. Old and wrinkled with back problems and rough hands. You need to take charge of your future and…"

Ryan gave them a patient smile. "Guys, I don't need a lecture, okay?"

"Somebody needs to smack some sense into you. Your girl know you're not going back to school?" Kip growled.

"We've talked…"

"You should talk more. Don't make me call your father," Kip threatened.

"Everybody, it's time to go back to work!" The boss announced. Bottles and bags flew from all directions at the man who ducked and retreated to the safety of his truck.

"Kid? I mean it," Kip warned.

"I know you do, Kip. Let's go finish that rafter," Ryan said.


	7. 7

_AN: Here's Sunday's installment._ _ The author's a little hungover, but today's installment should be up later today._

* * *

"Hello?" Ryan listened to the dead air on the opposite end of the phone line. "Hello."

At first he'd thought it was Marissa, but her father had told Sandy that she was upstate in a rehab center.

He was leaning more toward Eddie now. The calls always came at night, or early morning as it may be.

"Hello?" Ryan tried one more time. He heard a small breath before the dial tone.

He put the phone back on the night stand.

"No answer?" Teresa murmured from beside him.

"Nope. Go back to sleep…"

"You first," She mumbled, snuggling closer to him.

It'd taken a lot for him to get used to having someone sleep with him. Sure, he'd been with a lot of girls in his limited life, but they rarely spent the night. Ryan tended to practice 'sleeptime karate'. He'd kick out in his sleep, wrestle with the covers, tossing and turning until he settled into a realm of sleep that his brother had called 'stone-like'.

But Teresa had been sleeping with him for the past two months. She'd sneak out of her room after her mother had gone to sleep and crawl into bed with him. She'd put her arms around him and hold on tight.

It was an adjustment. But he didn't really mind anymore. She needed to be close to him. She needed him to hold onto.

He was here for her. He'd promised her. He'd take care of her and if it meant he'd hold her in his arms every night while she slept, he'd do it.

It didn't matter that he couldn't sleep.

He was tired. Work was hard and he was tired.

And every night when he finally got to sleep, she'd crawl into bed with him.

And his mind would go off again. Swirling thoughts of Sandy and Kirsten's disapproving faces. Seth's angry visage. Teresa's need. Marissa's betrayal.

He couldn't sleep.

He knew it wasn't Teresa's fault.

It was his mind. It was his issues.

He just wanted to sleep. A full night's sleep was all he wanted.

He'd done his duty, he'd walked away from everything he'd ever wanted to take care of Teresa.

All he wanted was a good night's sleep.


	8. 8

"Is he okay?" Summer asked Teresa by the barbecue. The Cohens were standing with Ryan beside the poolhouse. Summer had taken up Kirsten's phoned invitation to the house earlier in the week.

"I guess so."

"You don't know?"

"He's been weird lately. He doesn't sleep, there're these weird hang-ups every night around midnight and his job is breaking his back," Teresa sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," She replied.

Summer put her hands on her hips. "Come on, fess up."

Teresa lowered her voice. "I hate coming here. Kirsten looks at me like I'm about to eat Ryan alive and Sandy just stares at Ryan like he's going to drop dead in front of him. I just don't understand why they can't just support us."

Summer opened her mouth to speak but closed it.

"What?"

"Teresa, they lost their son. And Ryan. They offered you money, they offered you a place to stay, they offered you everything to keep him here, to keep him safe and you took him back to Chino. To Chino, Teresa! Where he has to work and stay in this tiny room with you and your mother, where he has to take care of you and has no friends under forty and you wonder why they're bitter?"

"You…you feel that way, too?"

"No, well…not exactly. I think it's a shitty situation and no matter what happens, it's going to suck. They lost Ryan and you got him. That's it."

"What are you guys talking about? Looks intense," Ryan said, moving to stand beside Teresa.

Summer watched them carefully. Ryan put his hand on Teresa's back and it was clear that the girl responded to him, leaning into his touch.

Ryan was different. His eyes were clouded. He was going just through the motions. The Cohens didn't see it. Teresa didn't see it. But Summer saw it.

He was lost without Seth, too. And despite the motions, Teresa wasn't filling the void as his best friend.

"What?" Ryan asked when he caught her staring at him.

"Nothing."


	9. 9

_AN: I don't know if I'm going to make this story last until November 4th. I have other stories to finish and other things to do and a 15 page finale for this fic already written so expect a few more scenes (2?) and probably the finale to be posted on Thursday afternoon. _

* * *

Teresa smiled at Sandy as he stepped into the house.

"Thanks for coming, Mr. Cohen," She said, clearly surprised to see him alone.

"It's Sandy, you know that." He gave her a tentative hug.

"Ryan will be home soon, I've almost got everything ready," She said nervously.

Sandy wished Kirsten would have come with him. He didn't want to have to tell Ryan that Kirsten was too upset to ride out to celebrate his birthday. She'd been crying since Teresa had invited them a few days before. She'd gone into the office to take her mind off her crumbling family. It was like she lived at the office now.

"I'm sorry Kirsten couldn't make it…"

"It's okay. Ryan will be glad to see you," Teresa smiled.

The kitchen was decorated with balloons and streamers. A homemade cake was on the counter and three presents set on the counter beside it.

"Um…Mr…I mean, Sandy…this might be a little weird. I mean, my mom's not even here, she had to work and none of the guys from the site wanted to come down here right after work, they bought him lunch to celebrate…"

"You mean…it's just you and me?" Sandy asked, surprised.

"Yeah. It is. He works so much that he hasn't really reconnected with any of his old friends…not that they're the kind of friends he needs anyway, but with Seth gone…this was supposed to be just family." She glanced over at Sandy. "Maybe it should be just me."

"I'm sorry, Teresa. I know you worked really hard planning this…"

"It's okay. Ryan hates celebrating anything. I shouldn't have tried…" She sighed, clearly disappointed. "But he loves to see you and Kirsten."

"I'm going to stick around until he gets here, okay?" Sandy said quietly.

"This isn't the birthday he wants. Turning seventeen and having a baby on the way and having to work a full time job in this place…but I'm trying to make it better for him…I'm trying, Mr. Cohen."

"I know." But Sandy didn't know. He didn't understand why Teresa was forcing Ryan to stay in a place that was sucking everything good out of his life. He knew Teresa loved Ryan. He'd never doubted that since the first time she'd shown up for dinner.

He didn't know how Ryan felt about Teresa. He thought that Ryan loved her. He knew that he cared about her, but he didn't think Ryan loved her. He didn't know why Ryan was willing to give up everything that he could give him to support a girl that wasn't his responsibility.

He didn't like this situation but he couldn't do anything about it.

The phone rang and Teresa hurried over to get it. Her face lit up when she answered and Sandy could tell she was talking to Ryan.

"You're going to the store? Ryan, we have…oh. You can't go out later for those? Oh…okay, honey. I'll see you when you get home." She hung up and her face was drawn with disappointment.

"He's not coming?"

"He ruined his pants. They're his only pair of work pants, the rest of the stuff he brought with him are too nice to pour concrete in…he has to get a pair before tomorrow," She said. "Kip's giving him a ride."

Sandy didn't know Kip. He hadn't considered that the wardrobe Kirsten had provided for Ryan would be a negative thing in Chino.

"Thank you for coming, Sandy. I'll make sure he knows you were here," She said.

"I can wait…"

"No. It's fine. He'll call you tomorrow and tell you all about the great presents we got him," She said sarcastically.

"Teresa."

"Just go."

He didn't want to watch her cry, so he left. He couldn't comfort her. Ryan was turning seventeen and he was too trapped in this farce of adulthood that he couldn't even celebrate. Sandy didn't want to wait and see the pieces fall. He just had to be there to pick them up.


	10. Finale

_AN: Okay. This is going to be disappointing to those of you that enjoyed the style and flow of the earlier scenes, but I'm sorry. This is a relapse into my usual style but it's what came to me as a closing story. I won't be updating again because I will be without internet until Tuesday while I am offline celebrating the Halloween holiday. Be careful out there because there will be a lot of drunk partying people (I'm talking about myself) out so watch your back._ _ Hope you enjoy the finale. _

* * *

"Be careful, baby," Teresa said as she kissed him on the cheek at the airport.

"You, too. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Ryan stepped out of the car. He watched her drive away.

"You ready?" Sandy approached.

"Yeah. I think so. Let's go get Seth."

Ryan hadn't wanted to go at first, Sandy had to convince him. They'd found Seth a week early but he refused to come home. Finally, Sandy had approached Ryan.

Ryan didn't know why he had to make the first move. He had to work, he had responsibilities but Sandy wanted him to drop everything and go after Seth.

And he'd agreed.

Ryan missed Seth. Every day. But he didn't want to leave Teresa. He had a bad feeling.

But he had a responsibility to Sandy and Kirsten, too. If they thought he could help, he'd go.

The plane ride to Portland was relatively quiet. Sandy talked a little about his cases. Ryan threw up a couple of times in the bathroom from airsickness but their flight was relatively uneventful. Their flight was on time and the rental car was waiting.

Ryan's phone rang as soon as he turned it on in the car. He put it to his ear.

"You're sure?"

Sandy glanced at Ryan. The boy's face had gone white. For the first time, he realized that the kid was carrying more responsibility that he should be. Sandy felt a pang of regret for forcing him along. But he had to bring Seth home and Ryan was the only person who could do it.

"Nothing I can do…" Ryan muttered into the phone.

"Ryan?" Sandy called.

He put his hand over his face. "I'll be back as soon as I can." He closed the phone.

"Is everything okay, Ryan?" Sandy asked.

"Let's make this quick. I need to get back."

Sandy nodded but he thought he saw tears in Ryan's eyes. Maybe coming here was too much.

The hotel was easy to find and Sandy was clearly relieved when he parked the car. Ryan had asked him if he could go up alone and something in his eyes had convinced Sandy.

Ryan banged loudly on Seth's door.

It swung open. "Damn, what? Ryan?"

"Seth."

"Man…what are you doing here?" Seth's expression was flickering between confusion and glee.

"What am _I_ doing here?" Ryan walked into the room and turned to face Seth. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Ryan…I couldn't stay there…"

"Why? What was so wrong with your life that…" Ryan's voice was shaking with rage. This had been building for too long.

"That I had to leave? I can ask you the same question…"

"I had a reason for leaving."

"A baby that's not yours?"

"It could be mine…"

"Man, I know you used protection, you lectured me so many times…"

Ryan shook his head. He didn't want to argue with Seth but he had no choice. The boy was being a prick. "I'm not perfect, Seth. I make mistakes. I'm an Atwood, it's what we do."

"Ryan…"

"Your parents are sick about it. Caleb's in all kinds of trouble, Summer's fucking devastated…"

"You've seen Summer?"

Ryan sighed. "I'm here, Seth. I came for you. Isn't that what you wanted all along?"

Seth stared at him. "Well…yes."

"I'm here. Come back. Now."

"Are you staying?"

"Here?"

"Newport."

"Fuck you, Seth. Everything's always about you…" Ryan walked over and slammed his fist into the wall. "Think about someone other than yourself for once in your life."

"Who, you?" Seth snapped.

"Whoever the fuck you need to. But I'm going home." Ryan softened his tone. "It'd be really cool if you'd come with me." Ryan walked past him and put his hand on the door.

"Wait."

Ryan paused.

"Let me get my stuff."

----- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - ------ - -- - - ----------- - - --------------- -- --- - -- ------- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - --

Sandy and Seth argued all the way to the airport but had settled their differences by the plane. Ryan was silent. He'd nod in response to Sandy and Seth's questions but had no words to share.

Seth seemed more damaged by Ryan's silence than the months of grounding his father had forced upon him already. His apologies didn't affect Ryan's stony face. It was like he didn't hear them.

They arrived at LAX around midnight.

"Ryan, can I take you back tomorrow?" Sandy yawned in the terminal.

"I need to call a cab. I have to get back," Ryan said.

"We can drive you, man, we should probably talk…" Seth started.

"No. I have to go." Ryan disappeared before they could stop him.

He'd waited long enough.

Teresa's mother was waiting for him when he got back.

It'd been a freak accident. The stoplights went out across the boulevard. She was getting ice cream. She had a cone in one hand and her keys in the other. The truck never slowed down.

Ryan put Teresa's mother to bed. He made tea and put away the covered dishes. He turned the phone's ringer off and sat down on the couch.

----- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - ------ - -- - - ----------- - - --------------- -- --- - -- ------- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - --

"Eva says he's not home," Kirsten told Seth the next day.

"His cell phone's off. Can I…"

"No. You're grounded. I'm sure he's fine. Teresa takes good care of him," She said.

Seth raised an eyebrow. "Mom?"

"She's a nice girl. I just wish he could come back, too," Kirsten admitted.

"Why don't you make him?" Seth asked seriously.

"Sandy…well, he's doing the right thing. We might not like it, but it's the right thing," Kirsten sighed. "He's taking responsibility."

"Can I go see him tomorrow?"

"No."

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The funeral was short and painful. Arturo was there with his guard escort. He'd asked Ryan to look after his mom. All the men from the site showed up, looking out of place in their pressed suits. Even Dawn had made an appearance and an unsolicited offer for a place to stay. He'd politely taken her number.

Ryan had remained stoic at Eva's side. He'd put her to bed as soon as they got back to the house with a cup of tea and a valium. Several of Teresa's cousins had returned with them as well as Kip and Jerry. Eva's sister was serving lunch in the backyard.

Ryan answered the door expecting more mourners. He didn't expect Sandy.

"Ryan? What's going on?" Sandy nodded to the wreath on the door.

"Come in. I'll explain," Ryan said flatly. Sandy noticed the coldness in his gaze. It wasn't directed at him, but it was like Ryan wasn't fully based in reality. He was cold.

Sandy stepped in, unsure of how to start and Ryan closed the door behind him. "We should go into the kitchen."

Sandy followed him, glancing at the well dressed people scattered around the house. He glanced around the kitchen at the mass of covered dishes. "Who died, Ryan?"

"Teresa. We buried her this morning," Ryan replied evenly. He wouldn't look at Sandy now, he kept his gaze locked on the floor.

"God, Ryan…why didn't you call me?"

"You have enough on your mind. And I know Kirsten didn't like her…" Ryan started.

"Stop it. We care about you…"

"I'm fine. I needed to do it myself."

"How…how are you, Ryan?" Sandy asked gently, approaching him. He was really worried, now. Ryan wouldn't meet his eyes and he was pressed against the counter with his back stiff and straight.

"I'm fine. Seth settling in?" Ryan asked.

"Trying. He misses you. You…you don't look fine, Ryan."

"Ryan?" Eva called.

"Excuse me," Ryan said, disappearing.

Kip stepped into the kitchen. "You must be Mr. Cohen."

"Yes…"

"I work with Ryan. He's a good kid. We tried to get him to call you…heard you got your kid back."

"Ryan got him back. He talks about us?" Sandy was surprised.

"We make him talk."

"Sounds like Ryan," Sandy agreed, grateful for the man's smile. "Can you fill me in here?"

"I'll try. Seems his girl got hit by a car. A few days ago. He wasn't here, we're pretty sure it was when he was out of town with you. She died instantly. Her mother's pretty upset, she won't let anyone but Ryan do anything for her from what Jerry and I can see. Not even her sisters," Kip explained. He lowered his voice. "We're worried about him."

"Me, too," Sandy agreed.

Ryan returned. "I see you met Kip," He said.

"Yeah, kid. Can we talk for a few minutes?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah. Kip, I'll be outside if anyone needs me," Ryan said.

"Sure thing," Kip nodded.

Ryan followed Sandy through the house to the front porch. He turned to face the boy. He put his hands on Ryan's shoulders.

"Ryan. Look at me, please?"

Ryan met his eyes with pools of sadness.

"I'm going to take you home, okay?"

"I need to…" Ryan started.

"No. You need to come home."

Finally, Ryan nodded.

"Okay?" Sandy whispered.

"Okay. But I have to tell Eva…"

"Can I talk to her?"

"I should tell her. You don't even know her…" Ryan murmured.

"Okay, Ryan."

"You want to get my stuff together? I haven't…I haven't really been in my room since…"

"Show me where. I'll get your things while you talk to Eva. Okay?"

Ryan nodded. He opened his mouth to speak but shook his head.

"What?"

"Thanks. For coming, you know?" Ryan tilted his head, affected.

"You don't have to thank me. Let's get you out of here, okay?"

Ryan led Sandy to the small bedroom where he slept and he disappeared into Eva's room.

Sandy looked around the small room. There was barely room for the bed. Pictures of Teresa were mingled with pictures of Seth and his family. The mirror was a shrine to Newport and there was no room for a reflection among the photos.

He had to focus. He opened the closet and found Ryan's backpack and dufflebag. He began filling it with clothes as fast as he could.

Ryan was standing in the doorway when he finished.

"Ryan?"

"Eva wants to talk to you." Ryan was staring at the floor.

"Okay…"

"I'll finish."

"Are you sure…"

"Yeah. I'll finish," Ryan muttered.

Sandy left him and walked down the hall towards the open door.

"Mr. Cohen. It's nice to finally meet you…though I wish it hadn't happened like this," Eva shook his hand.

"I'm so sorry for your loss…Teresa was a wonderful girl…"

Eva wiped tears, sniffling. "Yes, I'll definitely miss her. You'll take good care of Ryan, won't you Mr. Cohen?"

"I promise…"

"He's like a son to me," Eva confided. "He grew up with my Teresa, his brother and my son, Arturo, they are peas in a pod…Ryan's been a part of this house for as long as I can remember. But he belongs to you…"

"Ryan doesn't belong to me…" Sandy started.

"He belongs with you. Will you tell him to call me when he gets settled?" Eva wiped her eyes again.

"Of course. If there's anything I can do…"

"Take Ryan home. Make him get some rest. I don't think he's been sleeping…he's not really dealing with this…neither am I, but I'll manage…he's being so strong…but he's not really. Not inside," She said quietly.

"Thank you for taking care of him, Eva. I'll make sure he calls you." Sandy closed the door to the bedroom as he walked back into the hallway. Ryan was waiting with his bags in hand.

"You want to say your goodbyes?" Sandy asked.

"I already told Kip and Jerry. I've got their addresses. I need to call my boss and let him know…"

"We'll take care of that at home, Ryan. Come on." Sandy patted him on the back.

----- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - ------ - -- - - ----------- - - --------------- -- --- - -- ------- - ------ -- - -- ------- -- - --

Sandy parked his BMW beside the Range Rover.

"I don't really want to talk to anyone right now," Ryan said, speaking for the first time since they'd left Teresa's.

"Okay, kid. Take your things to the…well, you can't go to the poolhouse, Kirsten's having it redone…"

"Wherever's fine, Sandy. The guest room?"

"Yeah. Come on, I'll explain everything to Kirsten and Seth. Have you eaten?"

"Not hungry."

"I'll bring you something in a little while, okay? You look like you need sleep more, though," Sandy said.

Ryan nodded. He got out and gathered his bags and followed Sandy into the house.

"Sandy? Is that you?" Kirsten called from the kitchen.

"I'll be in there," Ryan muttered and made a quick escape to the guest room.

Sandy sighed and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, honey," She said, accepting his kiss on her cheek. "How's Ryan?"

"He's in the guest room."

"What? He…"

"Teresa's dead. The funeral was today. I brought him home," Sandy said, sitting down beside her.

"Oh no…Sandy…that's awful…is he okay?"

"He's Ryan. Which means he's painfully quiet. He doesn't want to see anyone," Sandy replied.

"He…he didn't call us?"

"He said he didn't want to worry us…he was under the impression that you didn't like Teresa," Sandy said.

"Oh god…is he…"

"You can talk to him soon enough. He'll come out when he's ready. But do me a favor? Help me keep Seth away from him…I don't think he's quite ready for that."

"When did it happen, Sandy?"

"While we were in Portland. He got a phone call…I didn't ask him about it. Well, I did, but he didn't tell me what it was about," Sandy admitted. "I should have…"

"We are going to teach that kid how to talk," Kirsten sighed, leaning against Sandy.

"He'll be okay. He just needs some time," Sandy said. "I'm going to make him a sandwich…"

"We don't have any of the things he likes, I'm going shopping," Kirsten said.

"Honey, we have enough food here to feed a small village…"

"But we need comfort food. I'll get those chips he likes, and the juice, he likes the orange-grapefruit mix. It'll give me something to do."

"Take Seth with you?"

"Good idea. Good luck."

"You, too. You'll need it with Seth," Sandy grinned.

Kirsten forced Seth to come with her to the store. He grumbled his disgust at being seen in public with his mother, but his curiosity soon took over.

"Mom, why are you buying sesame sticks? You hate sesame sticks…the only person I know who eats them is…Ryan. Is Ryan coming home? Mom? Mom?" He tugged at her shirt, finally stepping in front of her cart and stopping her.

"You're being a nuisance," Kirsten sighed. But she was glad to see a flicker of the old Seth. He hadn't been the same without Ryan. And Summer.

"Mom, is it just my imagination or are you buying things that our broody blond boy from Chino likes to eat? Is he coming home?"

"He's actually already home. Your father brought him. That's why you are here with me. Your dad needs some time with him."

"Dad needs time with him? What about me? I haven't been able to talk to him since he showed up in Portland…" Seth was practically bouncing now, his face drawn with confusion but his gestures wild with anticipation.

"Seth. Down a notch," Kirsten said.

"What is it? What aren't you telling me?" Seth asked as she dropped a bag of Oreos into the cart.

"While Ryan was in Portland…convincing you to come back, there was an accident. Teresa's dead, Seth."

Seth paled and froze. "Oh…oh god…"

"Ryan's pretty upset about it. We didn't know about it either, your dad found out when he went down there today."

"God…that's so awful…no wonder he hasn't called…"

"Sandy didn't say much. But he's home, Seth. Are you guys…are you guys angry with each other?"

Seth sighed. "I don't know. I don't think so…I mean, I was mad at him for leaving…but…I'm not now."

"Seth, you've had a pretty easy life. Your father and I have always given you everything we thought you needed…but you've never really had to suffer the consequences of your actions. Ryan…he was taking responsibility the only way he knew how."

Seth nodded. "So…he's back?"

"Apparently so. Can you think of anything else he likes that we haven't gotten?" Kirsten looked over the almost full cart.

"Marshmallows."

"Marshmallows? He likes marshmallows?" Kirsten asked.

"He'd never admit it. But he used to sneak into the kitchen and eat them. I caught him once with a whole handful in his mouth," Seth smiled.

"Good to know. Marshmallows and then we're on our way."

"So…when we get back…"

"I haven't even seen him, Seth. We're giving him space, okay?"

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Sandy knocked on the guest room door and it swung open. Ryan was lying on the bed with his eyes open. He was staring at the wall.

"Hey there. You're not sleeping."

"I know. Can't sleep," Ryan admitted.

"How long?"

"Since…since she died."

"When's the last time you ate something?"

"I had some coffee today," Ryan shrugged.

"You have to start taking care of yourself, kid." Sandy sat down beside him on the bed. He held out the sandwich. Ryan sat up.

Ryan accepted it and took a small bite.

"Good. You want to talk?"

"I've put it off long enough. Shoot," Ryan said, chewing deliberately.

"You've had a harsh couple of days. I wish that I could have been there for you, but I wasn't. I'm sorry. You're such a strong kid, but…this was too much for you to have to handle…losing Teresa…"

"I didn't love her," Ryan whispered. "That's what makes this so hard. She loved me so much…and I cared about her, more than I've ever cared about anyone…but I didn't…"

"It's okay, Ryan. She knew how you felt…"

"I just wanted to take care of her…and the one day that I left her…the one day that she needed me…"

Sandy pulled Ryan into a fierce hug, holding him tightly as he started to sob. "It's okay…it's not your fault…"

"It's…"

"It's not your fault. It was an accident, there's nothing you could have done, Ryan…just let it out…"

Ryan pulled away, wiping at his face as he got up. "So stupid…I don't cry…"

"Well, everyone has to cry sometimes…"

"I don't cry…" Ryan mumbled.

"Ryan. Sit down," Sandy said gently.

Ryan paced in a quick circle but finally sat down again on the bed.

"You need to get some rest, okay? Now. If you eat this sandwich instead of torturing it, I'll give you a Tylenol PM and leave you alone."

"That's a good idea. I hadn't thought of that. I was just going to get wasted," Ryan nodded toward the minibar that was beside the dresser.

"My idea's better," Sandy smiled.

"Okay," Ryan sighed. "Okay, Sandy."

"I think I can hold off Kirsten and Seth until tomorrow. But you're going to have to face them sometime, Ryan," Sandy said, putting his arm around Ryan as the boy took another bite of the sandwich.

"Thanks. You got Seth chained up or something?"

"He's shopping with Kirsten. She decided that we didn't have enough of the things you liked around the house. So she went to get them."

Ryan finished the sandwich and held out the empty plate.

"Good. It's a start," Sandy nodded. "It's good to have you home, Ryan."

"It's good to be home, Sandy." Ryan motioned to the room. "I went from all windows to no windows."

"This is only temporary, Ryan…"

"It's cool. Like I said…whatever you want."

"Whatever I want? Then you'll go to Harbor tomorrow and register for your classes?" Sandy asked, going to the bathroom and returning with a bottle of pills.

"Tomorrow?"

"If not tomorrow, then the next day."

Ryan sighed. He accepted the pills and gave Sandy a slight nod. "Okay. I still need to call my boss, though."

"Lie down for now. You need to rest. I'll check in on you later."

Ryan stretched out as Sandy watched him from the doorway.

"It'd be more convincing if you took off your shoes," Sandy said.

Ryan gave him a smile. "True. I think I might take a shower first…maybe I'll sleep better."

"There are towels already waiting for you."

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Seth was pacing outside the guest room when Sandy came downstairs the next morning.

"Seth. What are you doing?"

"I'm…I'm pacing. What are you doing?"

"Come into the kitchen, Seth."

"I want to talk to Ryan when he wakes up."

"He's not going anywhere. Come on," Sandy urged, ushering him into the kitchen.

"Is he…is he all right? I mean, is something wrong with him, is that why you wouldn't let me see him?" Seth asked.

"He's grieving. I didn't think he needed you bouncing around him on his first day back," Sandy said.

"I just want to be his friend. However he'll let me be. I know we can be close again…I'll make it up to him…I just need to see him," Seth said.

"He's tired. He'll come out when he's ready."

Kirsten heard her husband in the kitchen talking to Seth. She tiptoed to the guest room and silently opened the door.

"You going to pace, too?" Ryan asked. The room was dark and his voice came from the vicinity of the bed. She flicked on the light.

"Hey."

"Hey. It's really early."

"I didn't mean to wake you." She sat down on the edge of the rumpled bed and puts her hand on Ryan's arm. "How are you feeling?"

"I slept. That was a change. Didn't have nightmares, also a plus."

"Seth's pretty anxious to see you…"

"I heard him pacing. I was hoping to sleep a little longer before…"

"Okay, honey. Do you need anything?"

"I'm okay. Just tired…I'll come out for breakfast when it's not seven a.m," Ryan yawned.

"Okay. I'll let you sleep." She turned the light off again as she went to the door.

"Thanks. Tell Seth I'll see him later?"

"Sure."

She closed the door and ran into Sandy in the hallway.

"You woke him," Sandy accused.

"Yes. But he's going to go back to sleep, now, Sandy and…" Kirsten started immediately.

He embraced her. "Don't tell Seth," He whispered. "It took all I could do to get him to stay in the kitchen."

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Ryan emerged from the guest room around noon. His hair was sticking up haphazardly and his eyes were cloudy with residual sleep. But he was hungry. He hadn't been hungry in days so he figured he better run with it.

He was home. Things would get better.

They couldn't get any worse.

He froze just outside the kitchen. Seth was standing with his back to him over the sink. The kitchen was splattered with something brown and sticky.

"What are you doing?" Ryan smiled when Seth turned around and revealed his coated torso and face.

"Can I get a little help?" Seth sighed, clearly frustrated.

Ryan grabbed a paper towel and tried to wipe the substance off Seth's face. The paper towel stuck. "What is this?"

"Caramel. Rosa's going to kill me," Seth said, licking his fingers. "It's good though. How are you?"

"Not sticky. How'd this happen?"

"Long story. Involves gumballs, twitching and cartwheels. Not pretty."

Ryan nodded, understanding that he'd never understand. He went to the refrigerator and opened it.

"So…we okay?"

"Let's just not talk about this summer. We're both home…and we'll be here a while. We'll be okay."

"Okay. I can deal with that," Seth agreed. "Ryan?"

"Yeah?" Ryan opened a bottle of juice and turned to face him.

"I'm sorry about Teresa."

Ryan gave him a long look. "Don't talk about Teresa, okay? You didn't know her like that, you aren't…" He stopped. "Sorry."

"Um…okay…" Seth stammered, confused.

"I'm going to go make some calls. I'll see you later." Ryan retreated to the guest room. He called his boss and apologized for not working a notice. He called Eva and assured her he was okay. He agreed to visit over the weekend to go through Teresa's things. She didn't want to do it alone.

He wasn't ready. But it had to be done.

He lay down and tried not to think of Teresa or Seth or the Cohens. He fell asleep. He woke up to the sound of heavy breathing.

Hailey and Jimmy were involved in an intense makeout session in the doorway.

He cleared his throat, getting up immediately as they realized his presence.

"Ryan?" Hailey gasped.

"Excuse me…" He left the room. He walked down the hall and out the front door.

He started walking. He needed to think. Where he belonged. What he was going to do now.

He felt out of place at the Cohens. No poolhouse, Hailey still apparently claimed the spare room.

He couldn't go back to Eva's, he'd be a painful reminder of Teresa.

There was always Dawn.

He didn't want to go back there, especially when he thought about the liquor he'd smelled on her breath at the funeral, but she was his mother. She said she wanted him back. She said she had a spare room that was all his. If he'd take it.

"Ryan?" Sandy's car stopped beside him in the street. He hadn't realized he'd walked so far already, he was almost at the gate.

"Hey, Sandy."

Sandy's face was lined with confusion and worry.

"I'm not running, I just needed some air," He said immediately.

"Oh."

"Can I get a lift?"

"Hop in."

Sandy didn't ask him any questions but Ryan owed him an explanation.

"So…when's the poolhouse going to be free again?" He asked.

"The house not good enough for you?" Sandy replied.

"No, no…it's just…Hailey and Jimmy, sort of…"

"Oh," Sandy blushed. "I guess we should have told her you were back."

"It's okay. They didn't know."

"She stays with Jimmy most nights, we haven't seen her in weeks," Sandy explained, parking the car in the driveway.

"Um…well, I was thinking…"

"This doesn't sound good," Sandy said quietly.

"Well…" He started. "Well, my mom was at the funeral. She said that I can come stay with her…if I need a place to stay…"

"You have a place to stay. Did something happen? Are you still fighting with Seth? Is it something…"

"No, Sandy. It's just…this doesn't feel…" Ryan sighed. "I don't really have a place here anymore."

"That's not true, Ryan. Come inside, we'll talk about it, is this about…"

"It's about me, Sandy. It's about my life and where I'm…where I belong."

"You belong here, Ryan. You're a member of this family. You've only been home one night. You've been through something…something no one your age should have to go through…"

"I know. I'm not running…I'm just thinking."

"Well, stop it," Sandy said seriously. "Stop doubting your place in this family. I want you here, we all want you here…"

"But…"

"No buts. This is your home, Ryan. We are your family. Trust us. Trust me," He said urgently.

Ryan finally nodded with a tired sigh. "Okay."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah."


End file.
